There was a cat. A cat here and then there was, another cat.

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Dating = blah. Entertaining and good on paper has yet to really translate to “kachow!” in person. They’re nice enough guys, and seem to be into me, but I’m walking away feeling ‘meh.’ I don’t know if I should do round two with any of them, or just say “good luck in your search” and move along.

Is internet dating just not realistic? And would you go on a second date if you were really only doing it because you’d feel bad for not trying more? Or do you just go with instinct? If you don’t feel it on date #1, there’s no date #2?

I’m thinking of a new approach, so here’s where I’ll be going in December.

Grrrr-owl.

At least it’s football season …
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Coffee – the non-relationship drink of choice

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Mommy: “Is dropping your Pony worth having a hissy fit over?”
Bean: “No. Love is the only thing that matters.”

So in spite of my fears that I’m totally screwing her up, I get glimpses that I’m doing something right now and then. If she gets that love’s all that matters, her mama might be saying a few things right.

In that spirit, I have a few coffee dates this weekend. I’m pretty excited; we’ve had some great email conversations, and they’re animal lovers, so they have a few points in their favor already: intelligent conversation, they make me laugh and they like animals.

I thought it somewhat apropos when yesterday, as I took out the trash, I spotted something on the garage floor. It turned out to be a tiny little “love” charm that I had lost a few weeks ago.

Okay, totally *in*appropriate aside, but is anyone else completely unable to look at the word teabag without having Sex in the City flashbacks? And yet, someone actually used “Tea Baggers” in their Twitter status. No lie. And not in a SITC sense, which makes it doubly funny.

(And no, I am not defining/explaining this if it makes no sense to you. All I can say is that urbandictionary.com can be your friend.)

I am almost crying I’m laughing so hard right now. Nothing better than starting a morning with rain AND something like this.
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The things we do for love

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I’m just a love machine …

Y’all know I suffer through all the online dating crap, so when eHarmony added a new little “here’s how we psychoanalyze you in a handful of questions” quiz, I couldn’t help taking it.

Those who know me well will know that this quiz actually hit the nail on the head. Apparently my “love style” is grounded and I’m realistic about what makes a long-term relationship work, “forging a love based on friendship and respect”. I “believe that a true partnership is about sharing responsibility and being able to count on one another.” I’m also “looking for a love that lasts. Unswerving loyalty comes naturally, and when (I) say ‘I do’, it will be for keeps.”

Well huh. All that from a quiz that asks you to select what picture represents what feeling.
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Eventually I had to face up to my destiny as a loser magnet

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Yeah, so my date was a bust.

I gave him the benefit of the doubt when he suggested meeting for subs at Thundercloud, and still went when he said “I’ll be the one in the long shorts with the motorcycle helmet”; even though I wanted to reply “I’ll be the one dressed like a grown-up”.

None of that would have been awful if he’d impressed me as being strong, humorous, cute …

I’m really *not* uppity; hell, one of my anniversary dinners I asked to go to Salsa Fresh because all I really wanted was a good bean and cheese burrito and good conversation. But it’s hard to take people seriously when they don’t take themselves seriously.

My boss accuses me of overthinking things, because I tend to take such a long view – if we’re doing a new web site, I’m thinking of the ways in which instructions, descriptions etc can be misconstrued by some percentage of people, or how doing something one way could have x consequence down the road. I can’t help it – it’s just the way my brain works: I see things through to their logical conclusions.

So when I was having lunch with this guy, there was just no way I could picture doing anything ‘serious’ with him, including – and especially – introducing him to my kids or having him interact with my kids. Which put the kibosh on things pretty quick. The date limped along, and toward the end he was like “Do you want to know anything about me?” and I answered “Not really”. I did it with a smile, but that was it.

This internet dating thing … folks sound good on paper, and there’s a picture so you know it’s not Quasimodo, but still …

Blech.
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I’ve got one leg back in the land of the living; my parents took the girls for the day on Saturday when I was at my worst, and Sunday I took it as easy as is possible with two rambunctious kiddos wreaking havoc on my home and tapping every last energy reserve.

But I survived, and we actually had a decent morning Sunday. We screwed around for awhile at home, since there’s really nowhere to go and nothing to do at the wonderful hour of 6 a.m., then around 8 we headed out for donuts and kolaches. Both girls loved their donuts, so I braved Target for some toy department destruction and very basic grocery shopping. It wasn’t flawless, but we all survived. I was, however, exhausted and hurting by the end of the trip. At some point this weekend, between coughing and the sucky contortions I end up in as both girls press against me from opposite sides, my back got wrenched and it just *aches*.

The plan was just to drive home, but O fell asleep and Bean asked to drive around. So we did. There’s a neighborhood about a mile or two east of ours where the lots are big and well-treed, and you can usually spot a deer or two. We saw a ton – including a little fawn. Bean was beside herself. She informed me that deer, horses, cats and cows had the cutest faces. She then proceeded to rattle of every other animal she knew as being cute, too. She’s non-discrimanatory about her love

But the icing on the cake was on the way out of the ‘hood – I found a pasture with three horses. Three horses that, in turn, all let Bean pet them.

Nothing, shot of there being a foal too, could have made her happier. It was awesome.

I don’t know what it is about little girls and horses; I’ve loved them since I was around her age too.

One of my good friends is moving to New Hampshire on Friday It sucks, but I’m thrilled for her, her hubby and their son and wish them the very best. Plus, they’re only an hour from Boston, which is one of the first 2-3 places I want to take the girls when I start flying with them. I visited Boston when I was pregnant with Bean, and fell in love with the aquarium and the kid’s museum. I actually think we spent more time at those places than anywhere else .. I’ve been dying to take Bean there ever since.

I’ll leave you with this tidbit: I have a lunch *date* Wednesday
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What about home schooling? You know, it’s not just for scary religious people anymore.

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Trying to decide how squeaky this wheel should be at Bean’s school ..

I’ve gotten more reports from Bean on some of her current teacher’s gems, like the subtly sexist “boys holler and girls scream” to the notion that “I act like a two-year-old when I scream, and whine and cry.”

I’m also getting pressure to embark on a subtly shaming anti-nose-picking campaign, and a direct report from Ana that she uses it. I get that Bean’s almost habitual insert finger, hunt, remove finger, suck routine isn’t the yummiest or most sanitary thing around, but for god’s sake, the kid is about to turn 4 – isn’t there some “ick” wiggle room?

Based on the grapevine, the next class up is more of the same, where the teacher focuses on the negative.

I’m also kind of fed up with disruptive boys. There are kids in her class that spit on her, kick her and jab her in the face with sticks – which seems slightly more problematic to me than nose-picking … and – coincidence or not? – all those offenders are boys and I’ve yet to hear Isabel report that Ana is as hard on them. To be fair, Bean’s scratching injuries have come from girls and boys, but really; does compulsive booger-eating really seem like the thing to focus on?

So I’m torn between the “this is just the way it is” kind of thinking and the “my kid might do better in a different environment” thinking. I bounced it all back to Dave, too, since he should have input and an opinion; so I’m in a holding pattern for now as I think on it and wait for his response.

I get that there will always be compromise, and I’m also not one to push my kids too hard … but if skipping a 6-month interval could put Bean with kids that are slightly more mature and would challenge her a bit more, I’m not sure whatthe harm would be …

I’ve got a few emails and ‘winks’ to respond to from match.com and chemistry.com … some have potential, a few, not so much. I’m just pretty well booked up over the next week or so, so I’ve not been chomping at the bit as much as I would be if I had this weekend off.

Okay, so who else needs a breakfast taco primer? Check this out, and be prepared to feel hungry … in fact, I might make time for a stop at Rudy’s this a.m. … I’m tellin’ ya, another few months and I’ll never be able to move from Austin. The music, the food, the climate, the outdoor spaces … this truly is a fab place to live. And eat, which everyone knows is my second favorite pasttime!
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Actually, you were sleeping the sleep of the knocked unconscious.

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Back to my uber-exciting social life. I know y’all were hanging on the edges of your seats waiting for it. It’s okay to admit it, embrace it and holler your “don’t open that web site, girl!”s at the monitor. I ‘talk’ at people online, too.

I’ll work on getting more silly pictures of me; pictures that are at least moderately flattering and don’t make me look like Pizza the Hut … even with just the one pic, tho, I’m pretty popular. Not always with people I’d like to be popular with, as I’ve landed my share of rugged outdoorsmen, and there’s really nothing about me that says “let’s go butcher a deer.” Yanno?

My bleary-headed-ness this morning must mean the the girls are back. After 5 nights of good sleep, I’m trying to function after going to sleep at 10:30, waking at 11:30, waking again at 12:30 and being up for at least an hour, waking at 3:30 and being up for a good half hour, and then starting the day at 6:30. The first three wake-ups were courtesy of the lovely Miss O, the 3:30 was Bean, waking and realizing she was alone in there and 6:30 was O again.

I can’t be too mad at O this time, as she was waking with a cough that shounded a bit like a restricted airway. I’ve back of my head suspected she’s allergic or reactive to *something* over here (no-one say cats – there are 4 of them and maybe one or two would have even a remote chance of finding a good home if I had to place them). Both girls came home with some congestion, so I need to check with Dave on whether she was coughing like this at his place.

Sigh.

It’s still good to have them back. I haven’t seen them since I dropped them off at school last Thursday a.m.

Melissa, did I ever answer your question re: custody? I can’t remember …

Ooo – just got a text from the boss offering to pick up coffee and breakfast tacos. Salvation.
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Come on, you’ve been dating for what, like 200 years?

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So I signed up over at match.com and their other site, chemistry.com … I’ve gotten more hits there than I ever got over at eHarmony, but I’m still hesitating on paying for the service, ya know? Although I’m not really sure how else grown-ups can actually meet other grown-ups … sigh.

Some of the pictures and usernames tho … now I know why y’all were advising wine and friends. I hated filling out the ‘about me’ stuff, too. I would have definitely done better with wine.

But some of the guys seemed normal and at least meet-for-lunch-able.

My chemistry.com analysis had me as a “Negotiator”, and here’s what they said about me:

You are a big thinker. You easily take the large, long view of almost any topic. You are comfortable juggling myriad facts. You tend to synthesize material easily and to think in webs of factors, not straight lines. You are imaginative and enjoy theorizing.

You are also socially savvy. You are good at both talking and listening. And you generally read people’s faces, body postures and tone of voice accurately, so you tend to intuitively understand what people want and need.

You are also highly compassionate. You care deeply about others. So you sometimes make personal sacrifices to be a supportive friend or colleague. And you like to work to improve the world.

You enjoy new ideas and novel experiences. You are flexible, affable and open to adventure. And you admire impulsive, spontaneous people, despite your tendency to plan ahead.

You dislike conflict. You seek “win-win” solutions. And with your skill as a negotiator, you adeptly bring peace to the chaotic world around you. You are a warm, insightful and often exciting companion.

I sound like a fab catch, huh? Does that really sound like me?

They said my best match would be a “Director”:

Daring, original, direct and inventive. A non-conformist. Skilled at abstract thinking and short-term planning. Often assertive and quite competitive. Tough-minded and efficient.

There are two guys “interested” in me, but I have to cough up $$ to find out more about them. Harumph.

The whole exercise has revealed two truths: I need some more (flattering) pictures of me. I also need to work on my figure a bit. Blech. I don’t do diets so I’m going to have to carve out workout time. Wish me luck with that. I won’t have time for the whole go to the gym and then shower routine on the mornings I have the girls, and I generally only have one or two weeknights when I could do something after work. So it has to be an at-home thing, and I absolutely *suck* at home-based exercise.

Who wants to be my virtual personal trainer?
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Country music; the music of pain.

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In all of my years, I have never been to a country-western bar/dancehall/whatevah.

While it’s not at the top of my return visit list, my evening at the Midnight Rodeo was fun, provided some entertaining conversation and even more entertaining sights and was way, way better than sitting home. (Kels, no reason for a phone call this a.m.)

Even if I did get home around 1:30 and have to work today. Sleep is for the weak, right?

My boss, Dan, had already offered Linda and I the couch at his place if we felt like getting too drunk to drive, but I dismissed that with “And then I can do the walk of shame down the credit union hallway … *with my boss*.” So I paced myself and made sure I was okay to drive. We had all met up a bit farther north beforehand so we could ride in one vehicle and we topped the night off with 1 a.m. Jack in the Box.

Highlights of the evening included Dan’s 24-year-old cousin saying “That’s been what, 15 years?” when I told him that I hadn’t really been out drinking and dancing since I was in college (ouch.) and Linda, the licensed massage therapist, explaining a ‘happy ending’ to a very young and very innocent-looking deputy sheriff. I’m still trying to wrap my head around how that even comes up in the course of conversation …

I was absolutey out of my element, again, but this pushing boundaries thing is kind of fun. Don’t think I’ll be standing in line for Enya tickets or suddently thinking “yes! my favorite way to vacation – a relative’s couch!” or anything, but when it comes to going out and having fun, I’m willing to expand my horizons. A little.

And match.com, huh? I may have to have the girls over, make a pitcher of Micheladas and start surfing …
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You’re here on a date?

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Points to Miss O again – she did wake up once around 9:30, but after 5-10 minutes was back to sleep and slept until around 5:45. She (and I) would have probably slept later if Bean hadn’t gotten up to play at some point, and started banging Ponies on the table in her attempt to “get it all ready and make everything beautiful.”

Because it would have been tragic if the Ponies were in disarray.

Dave’s got the girls again this weekend, starting tonight. And I need to figure out how to find a date. Or dates. Or at least some single chicks to go hang out with, and not the crowd I was with last weekend. If I thought my odds of success were low to begin with, they did nothing to improve my average. They may have dug it deeper in the hole …

I am so, so out of practice on the whole single social thing. eHarmony? Meh. I might try one of the other online dating dealies, but I’m not necessarily looking for lifelong compatibility here – I just want to go on some dates. And if I go too much longer without dating, I’m afraid my standards will start circling the drain.
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