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Someone please explain to me why it’s even a little bit fair that my kids are always up before 5:00 … I wasn’t sleepy until around 11:00, then it took me forever to just doze off, when Miss O woke up around midnight. And probably hourly after that. 5 hours of ridiculously interrupted sleep is just not acceptable.
If someone could also remind me that I hate the concept of letting my kid cry themselves to sleep. Remind me a lot. Because at almost 16 months, there is no earthly reason this kid should be waking 5-6 times a night. Last night it was more like 8-9 times, as she woke up 3 times before I went to bed.
If she didn’t sleep better (and later – until like 7:00) at Dave’s, I wouldn’t be quite so annoyed. But karmically speaking, my sleep shouldn’t be the one targeted if she was going to be a sucky sleeper at one house and not the other.
And of course, Bean woke up loaded for bear, throwing a whiny-crying-hollering hissy fit when I told her no to chocolate before real food, then ramping it up a few notches when the banana she was eating ‘broke’ and wasn’t all in one piece. Seriously. As if that changes the taste or anything. She screamed “no!” at me a few times when I told her to pick it up off the ground after she threw it there, so I ended up carrying her, kicking and screaming, to her room, tossed her on the bed and made her stay in there until she could mellow the hell out.
Magic word? Harumph. I’ll take civil words. Hand to god, if all these books I’m reading don’t give me some better coping tools, Bean’s going to be a gift with purchase on eBay before she turns four.
I’m tellin’ ya, I almost look forward to having to resolve conflict and deal with difficult people at work again. I cannot imagine a single situation I won’t be able to handle, as it’s unlikely that I’ll have to toss a screaming, crying coworker over my shoulder and put them in a time out. Or deal with “no!” screamed at me repeatedly. Or have them spit at me when they don’t like what I’ve said. I’m going to be the Zen Mistress at work, the one who can handle any sort of Joan Collins ‘tude without getting ruffled.
It’s hard to hold a grudge, tho, when the littlest one toddles in here, turns my chair to face her and beams up at me. And it’s especially hard to hold a grudge when the big one is at school for the day … yay for preschool!!
I took my taxes over to HR Block yesterday for their “Second Look”, and I’m just flat-out getting hosed. Ugh. I’m most pissed about not being able to claim student loan interest because the statement has just Dave’s social on it. I’m paying it, it was charged to me in the divorce decree, but it’s his to deduct. And since he makes more than they allow for the deduction, no one gets a break. My advice to anyone contemplating divorce is to talk to an accountant first. We skipped that part, and we both got hit hard on stuff. So, accountant. Definitely. Especially if you have a bunch of assets to split and a damn student loan that can’t be assigned to anyone else.
I watched my expected return get chopped in half because of that flippin’ student loan interest … I’ll get over it, but I’m still cranky about it. Grrr …
On to something less aggravating – validation from the American Association of Pediatrics for me having kept Bean rear-facing until she was 2: http://aapnews.aappublications.org/cgi/content/full/30/4/12-a … Miss O is still rear-facing and I had been loosely considering turning her to the front, but now she’ll stay RF until at least two as well. And since she’s such a teeny thing, I may leave her that way longer. She’s usually got Bean in there with her to give her someone to look at and to keep her entertained, as well as a mirror that she can see me in, so it shouldn’t be too hard to keep her RF.
There’s also a Stonyfield Farm recall, affecting a few runs of the 32-ounce fat-free yogurt, for a “minute amount of food grade sanitizer” – http://www.stonyfield.com/
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The March of Dimes March for Babies is coming up on Saturday May 9th. I formed a team for any locals that want to join me walking. The team goal is $1500. Here’s the team page so you can sign up to walk or, if you’re not local, to sponsor my team.
Or you can just ignore this post. No big. It’s not like I have stat tracking enabled and can see who visits {coughs.you know who you are.coughs.} And when they visit. And how often … but I digress. It’s cool if you don’t like babies or want to help them. You probably kick puppies and kittens too, don’t you?
Come on – sponsor me or, better yet, join the team, get some folks to sponsor ya and go for a nice walk with me. And help the babies, too. Imagine all the karma points you can rack up. You’ll probably have enough good karma stored up to get you a ‘get out of jail free’ card the next time you kick a puppy!
(I totally missed my calling in fund raising writing, didn’t I?)
(For the record, I totally do not condone kicking puppies and kittens, nor do I associate with people who do. That I know of. I have my suspicions about a few of you … )
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I got Bean’s piano lesson progress report the other day. Here’s what her instructor said about her: I am so grateful for Bean! I love everything about her – her pep, wit and style. Her aptitude is astounding for her age! 
The aptitude comment is nice, and I’m glad Bean has the opportunity if she has the aptitude. What I’m really sharing is how much her instructor appreciates her. Bean adores her piano teacher, and the feeling is obviously mutual. I can’t think of a better way to spend my money than on someone who really likes my kid, you know?
In a totally opposite direction, I was talking with one of the teachers at Bean’s school about the Manta Ray class – you know, the one Bean doesn’t want to go to. I asked the teacher if she liked Miss Anna (the M Ray teacher). While she didn’t say no, she didn’t say yes, either, which is telling in itself. But she had concerns over how structured the Manta Ray class is, especially when the next classroom they go to is *not* as structured, and historically, the kids go wild when they move up and out of the highly structure environment Miss Anna creates.
The teacher I was talking to said that a lot of kids respond really well to Miss Anna, but she could totally understand why Bean was so resistant. I don’t think I ever really see Miss Anna smile or act like she enjoys her job or her interactions with the kids, and that really bothers me. I know some of you (quietly) think I’m a total pushover, that Bean gets away with too much, that I’m too liberal in the way I raise her – and I don’t mind that you think that way. There are times I wonder the same things myself. But then I remember she’s only 3.5, and yeah, she’ll be 4 in a few months, but when I was her age, my only real structure was my dad came home at noon for lunch and at 5:00 for dinner. My mom could chime in a little better on how strict she was, but since I am told with great frequency that Bean is just like I was as a kid, I can’t believe there was an overabundance of strict. At least not enough to break my will
I refer to Manta Ray as the Evil Empire these days … not to Bean or within earshot of her, but it’s kind of how I picture it. I talk it up to Bean, emphasizing the science experiments they supposedly do. But she says that Miss Anna hollers at her and isn’t nice. Not too much lipstick I can put on that kind of pig …
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Miss O had her urology appointment yesterday. The good news is that her kidneys and bladder didn’t show any damage on the ultrasound. And she’s finally over 20 pounds! Her kidneys were small – like in the 10th percentile – but they said that when you look at the tiny little package the kidneys come in, it doesn’t seem like they are abnormally small.
She goes in next week for the dreaded VCUG, and they’ll get a sterile urine sample at that time. Thankfully, she’s in the hand of people who cath little kids and babies all day long, so they will be really good at what they do. I’ll update y’all on that when I know more.
One thing this specialist appointment did was solidify my belief that we need to change the girls’ pediatrician. They never sent the records from O’s hospital visit to the urology folks, and when I called them yesterday to ask again, I told them to call me if there was any problem. Whaddaya know, they never sent them and never called me.
When Dave called to ask them to resend them, they gave him a ton of ‘tude and blamed me for not telling them it needed to be sent. Then they called me and told me they never got the records. I called the hospital, and they sent the records 2/26. The hospital gave me the info I needed to allow the specialist to request the records without having my signature to authorize, and thanks to the urology office and the hospital, O’s records arrived in time for her appointment.
The screw ups and blame game, coupled with the ‘tude, mean they’re out. The girls will have a new ped, who I met at a Q&A session and who seemed really nice and well-informed. As a bonus, their office accepts patients on delayed or alternative vaccination schedules (the main reason I was staying at the other office, as the girls are not vaccinated), and the ped I talked to said she’d present information, but I wouldn’t be forced to comply. I never mind being given information to make sure my informed choices are still well-informed, so she and I should do just fine
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Dave had the girls last night so I got in some uninterrupted online and relaxing time. My Aunt Beatrice is in town for a visit, and I believe my parents are bringing her over today so she can meet the girls. I’m also trying to accomodate a UT photojournalism student on Sunday, who is working on a divorced families piece. Then Bean and I have a b-day party to attend in the afternoon and Dave is taking Miss O Sunday afternoon and overnight so the big girls and I can attend and stay for dinner. It’s a hectic weekend so I’m especially grateful for last night’s break!
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To benefit a cool little guy and his family:
It’s more than just a garage sale: there will be a bake sale, fun for the kids and a chance to write a special message for a very special little man.
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It’s amazing how quickly things can go south when Bean is involved.
One minute she’s telling me “I want FIVE stories tonight because I was super good!” and within 5 minutes, she’s gone down to one story due to poor behavior, which quickly becomes zero stories when she hollers at me “I want a story .. god damnit!” Thankfully I was in the other room, so she couldn’t see the suppressed laugh (because, seriously, it’s *funny* hearing your 3.5-year-old yell something like that), but she definitely lost all hope of stories at that point.
I hate not reading to her, but she’d already lost Clarice and Bambi (the kid loves her some deer), as well as her favorite My Pretty Pony, so I had little else to take that she truly wanted.
During a play date today, she flipped out on me when I removed a metal pot from her hands, just so I could get her to listen to my request that she not do a metal-on-metal drum deal with the pot and the metal ladle she had. Before I could shape my request, she called me stupid and threw the ladle at me. Believe it or not, I wasn’t really mad, just knew she had to have consequences, so I told her to go to her room. She screamed no and ran away. I went to retrieve her and when I picked her up, she began hitting with one hand and *yanking* my hair with the other. She got a quick swat on the tush when I couldn’t get her to let go any other way … y’all know I hate physical discipline, but she was not responding to my verbal requests and she was really hurting me.
She has an ENT appointment tomorrow to follow up on the ‘failed’ hearing screening … I’m hoping that if they concur on the hearing loss, that it’s something easily remedied, like fluid in the middle ear. I’d also love them to say: “Once we fix that, her hearing will be 100% and she’ll totally listen the very first time you ask her to do something. She’ll never sass you again, either. That’s be $15.”
Hey, a girl can dream, can’t she?
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Local moms, check out the rummage sale this Saturday to benefit Ikeasaurus. I had hoped to donate stuff, but can’t get my poop in a group. So instead, I’ll do what I do best and shop
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It’s amazing how quickly things can go south when Bean is involved.
One minute she’s telling me “I want FIVE stories tonight because I was super good!” and within 5 minutes, she’s gone down to one story due to poor behavior, which quickly becomes zero stories when she hollers at me “I want a story .. god damnit!” Thankfully I was in the other room, so she couldn’t see the suppressed laugh (because, seriously, it’s *funny* hearing your 3.5-year-old yell something like that), but she definitely lost all hope of stories at that point.
I hate not reading to her, but she’d already lost Clarice and Bambi (the kid loves her some deer), as well as her favorite My Pretty Pony, so I had little else to take that she truly wanted.
During a play date today, she flipped out on me when I removed a metal pot from her hands, just so I could get her to listen to my request that she not do a metal-on-metal drum deal with the pot and the metal ladle she had. Before I could shape my request, she called me stupid and threw the ladle at me. Believe it or not, I wasn’t really mad, just knew she had to have consequences, so I told her to go to her room. She screamed no and ran away. I went to retrieve her and when I picked her up, she began hitting with one hand and *yanking* my hair with the other. She got a quick swat on the tush when I couldn’t get her to let go any other way … y’all know I hate physical discipline, but she was not responding to my verbal requests and she was really hurting me.
She has an ENT appointment tomorrow to follow up on the ‘failed’ hearing screening … I’m hoping that if they concur on the hearing loss, that it’s something easily remedied, like fluid in the middle ear. I’d also love them to say: “Once we fix that, her hearing will be 100% and she’ll totally listen the very first time you ask her to do something. She’ll never sass you again, either. That’s be $15.”
Hey, a girl can dream, can’t she?
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Local moms, check out the rummage sale this Saturday to benefit Ikeasaurus. I had hoped to donate stuff, but can’t get my poop in a group. So instead, I’ll do what I do best and shop
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A couple random Beanisms:
I’m going to spell my consequences into H’s and make them gone. (a la Super Why)
I like the inside of the ear and all the tingly parts. (she’s talking about the semicircular canals)
About a feral cat walking in the street: Maybe he’s going to see the vet because his tummy hurts.
Drawing a picture for grandma:
Bean: It’s a buth.
Grandma: A what?
B: A buth.
G: I still don’t understand you.
B: It’s pronounced Bu-th.
(It was a bush)
About Miss O: She’s too big for me to carry her. Maybe when I’m older. In like 53 years.
Look! It’s poopie lava! (talking about her … yeah. That.)
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A shopping-related PSA for local parents of girls – I found dress-up shoes, wands, tiaras, gloves and skirts in the $1 section at the Target at Lakeline today. Bean is going to be beside herself when she sees the tiaras and wands. I’m stashing the shoes until she’s cast-free. It would just be cruel to finally provide the much-coveted “up shoes” when she can’t wear them. Although one more full day of being ignored by her might bring out a passive-aggressive impulse to just put the shoes out and pull a (not at all kid safe) “you don’t have no ice cream“-esque “Want to wear them? Psych!”
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Are you registered to vote? Google has a fab tool for helping you find out if you are, how to register and where to go. You have NO EXCUSES. If you’re making up an excuse now, watch this video. In some states, tomorrow (October 4th) is your last day to register or have your registration postmarked – so if you haven’t registered yet, please, PLEASE do so.
Yesterday, Miss O fell asleep in the car, so I parked in the shade and read a book for a little while. I usually have her listen to classical music in the car if there’s nothing good on NPR (Bean always asks “What are they talking about?” when I listen to NPR – it cracks me up trying to explain talk radio to her). Anyways, they were yapping on about the composer on the classical station, so I started channel surfing and stumbled upon “our song” – Alanis Morissette’s “Head Over Feet“
Instinctively, I reached to change the station. Before today, that song was guaranteed to make me sad, possibly reduce me to tears. It was a perfect song for Dave and I – he pursued with a dogged determination, and finally won me over. And I fell head over feet. But I left it on (and I’ve just listened to it again so I could linky it). I didn’t cry, or even feel sad. A bit melancholy – in the pensive sense, not the depressed sense – and with a hint of a wry half-smile on my face, but not despondent or depressed.
It was a good, affirming moment. Then I decided to start driving again to see if O could get in a decent nap, but she woke up. That was less good and affirming … However, she and I have been having such a mellow week without Bean that it’s no biggie that a short nap meant she needed to go to bed earlier than usual.
I think I’ve reached that point that I’m comfortable and happy in my new skin.
I’d probably even be a little excited about being single if dating didn’t seem like such an insurmountable task. Meeting someone, finding time to go out, having them be okay with two kids, four cats and probably a dog or two by the time I’m dating again …
Speaking of dating … When Miss O and I were at Whole Foods yesterday, the title song came on. I used to have it on a mix tape I made when one of my ex-boyfriends was doing a guest DJ thing at the local alternative station. I remember that I called and requested “See a Little Light“, in a smooth move of sappiness – he played it, but it didn’t have the desired impact
I’ve a long history of music being tied to affairs of the … errr … heart. I once left The Violent Femmes’ “Prove My Love” on a (different) boyfriend’s voice mail … remember Kel? Got chewed out for it, too, but at least it was more subtle than someone’s brilliant bottle rocket fiasco. I’m just sayin’ …
Lyrics from “What Do I Get” by The Buzzcocks
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Remember what I said about feeling bad about Bean starting full-time M/W/F at school?
I lied. I feel guilty for being thankful for the break, but I’m thankful.
I’m on my own with both girls all week (Dave’s in California, my folks are on an RV trip), and I totally all-day school I think I would go insane without it this week, as Bean seems singularly devoted to being a three-year-old these days, and throws every drop of her energy and considerable spirit into the effort.
So Miss O and I will have some semblance of sanity for 3 days out of 8 (Saturday through Saturday), and fortunately I have things planned for Tuesday and Thursday, so we won’t go completely batsh*t crazy those days.
This morning while I was doing my “back off! I’m having coffee!” thing (I’m less aggressive than that, but every bit as insistent), Bean took it upon herself to reach up onto the breakfast bar, take a Sharpie and do some coloring. Most of which was on paper, but a bit of which was on the sofa. Sigh. The post-marker conversation went like this:
Mommy: That’s a nice drawing. What marker did you use?
Bean: The purple marker.
Mommy: (with dawning realization) Which purple marker?
Bean: The one in the box.
Mommy: Where is it now?
Bean: Back in the box.
(Mommy checks, realizes it was indeed a Sharpie)
Mommy: Oh, a Sharpie. I don’t think that’s going to come off the sofa.
Bean: No mama, it’s not.
My typing was just interrupted by Bean waking up for water. I heard a sound I kind of figured was her coming out here, and when I saw her and asked what she was doing, she, very Al-Michaels-esque-ly, answered “rubbing my eyes”. She loves the play-by-play.
Which provides a nice segue to my beloved Packers getting smacked around by the stupid Cowboys last night on SNF.
Ack – I didn’t realize my boy Brett was on tonight … I need to go watch some football!
Before I go, I’d like to encourage the (breastfeeding) moms reading this to show up for their local Breastfeeding Challenge event on October 11 at 11:00. More info here, including links to the sites closest to you. Miss O and I will be there. I’ve heard that Austin had the largest turnout (105 babies latched on) last year, and that they’ are hoping to *double* that this year.
Lyrics from Bob Marley’s “Guiltiness“
Simplicity 3-in-1 and 4-in-1 Convertible “Close-Sleeper” Models implicated in two infant strangulation deaths:
http://www.cpsc.gov/cpscpub/prerel/prhtml08/08378.html
The company (SFCA) that purchased all of Simplicity Inc.’s assets at public auction in April 2008, has refused to cooperate with the government and recall the products, so the CPSC is asking that this warning be spread far and wide.
From Reuters:
About SFCA, Inc.
SFCA, Inc. (www.simplicityforchildren.com) is based in Reading, PA. Founded in 1967, SFCA designs, distributes and imports cribs, case pieces, changing tables, toddler beds, bassinets, and play yards which are sold through the mass and specialty retail chains. Sold under the Simplicity brands, SFCA’s products enjoy a loyal customer following and are known for their safety, design and value.
I’m thinking that I’ll be boycotting anything made by SFCA, since they are unwilling to recall this bassinet.
